


Oh.

by ellamaraschino



Category: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Disappointment, F/M, Not Cheating, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellamaraschino/pseuds/ellamaraschino
Summary: Lisbeth processes her heartbreak on the motorcycle ride home. Mainly just a sad Lisbeth-based one shot about realizing you’re not the only love of someones life. Set immediately after the events of GWTDT.
Relationships: Mikael Blomkvist/Lisbeth Salander
Kudos: 1





	Oh.

Oh.

It was the first word that didn’t stop echoing the whole ride back to her apartment. The deafening engine of lisbeth’s bike was calming enough to keep the pain buried and dull against the snow falling in her direction . If she were alone with the silence and the creaking of the old floors back at home, god forbid. . .

The icy chill on her nose was beginning to make her sniff and she almost sounds like she’s crying so really, this whole situation tonight disgusts her. And this is when the ‘oh’ shifts into ‘why’?

Why?

Why?

_ Why? _

_ Why didn’t you want  ** me ** ? _

_ Why didn’t I realize I was temporary? _

_ Why did I just risk my ass for you? _

Questions she was ashamed to ask for they indicated one thing — She had let her guard down for a man like some highschool girl with no life experience. She never let her guard down, she’s taken care of herself long enough now to know what happens when you do.

But now her guard is crumped and fallen, leaving her feeling exposed for a moment too long and jesus  christ , it fucking hurts. It feels like grabbing a dull, jagged blade and squeezing it as hard as you can. The problem she eventually realizes she’s in, is that when you’ve been numb to this kind of thing so for long, you lose practice in how to handle the fresh wounds. So it comes as no surprise that the answers to these questions sting like the bug inked on her neck.

_ He didn’t want  ** me ** because he already had someone. Someone he enjoyed better. I should’ve known that ahead of time. _

_ I didn’t realize I’d be a temporary fuck because I thought he got it. I thought he got me because we weren’t that different from each other. . Because we were different to everyone else. Or I was different. . I thought he was different too. Like me.  _

_ But in the end that’s probably why he didn’t want me. He even said he thought it was a bad idea from the start, oh god this was so fucking stupid. Maybe if I was a fucking blonde girl with big tits and a job as a squeaky clean co-editor. _

And the hardest answer that took Lisbeth three days of mulling it over to finally admit to herself, silently staring down a box of cold Mcnuggets that she hasn’t touched.

_ I risked my ass for him because I love him . _

“What happened when you were twelve?” he had asked her the morning after their violent encounter with Martin. She’s. . relieved he wasn’t harmed fatally. As he knows, she’s enjoyed his company since the start.

Lisbeth should’ve expected his question, it was the logical next response to their conversation. However when he actually asked it, she found herself at a loss for words. She knew which ones they were and how to string them together to answer but she had this barrier around her lips keeping her from answering — Until trust, something she had forgotten she had, split it open.

“I’m sorry. that’s none of my business.”

“I tried to kill my father.”

_ Why did I say that? _

_ Because he asked. _

“Oh.”

The word on the drive home. Oh.

It doesn’t take long to build her walls back up again. They’ve been there her whole life, it isn’t difficult to remember the blueprints — And this time they’ll be made out of metal and no one will ever fucking tear them down again.


End file.
